Saturday, November 28, 2015

Quarter-Life Crisis? No thanks.

I turn the big 25 next week. Veinticinco. Quarter of a century. 

It is a little intimidating to say the least. After all, I will officially be in my mid-twenties. Closer to thirty than ever before. Old enough to know better? Better than what?

After much deliberation, I have decided I'm not going to let the number get the best of me.
To someone else, 25 years may mean nothing. You're still young! You have so much life ahead of you! Yeah, but there's something...monumental about 25. Thinking about it now makes me wonder: Have I done enough? Have I done the right things? Am I where I'm "supposed to be" by this point?

When my parents were my age, they had already been married for five years and had a four year old child. (Yep, me.)

At my age, I don't have kids, but I am recently married. I didn't finish college, but I have a full-time job. I don't have a house, but I have an apartment with my husband.

Was there a certain order I was supposed to follow? Because if so, I'm nowhere near it.

I'm finding that in my twenties it's harder than ever to not compare my success or my life to my peers. They already own a house, I think. They already have kids...she has such a good job! Am I really that far behind?  

But when I think deeply about what I want, not about what I should be doing, I don't see myself having children any time soon. I see myself saving money for a house I'd truly love to own, rather than jumping at the first thing I see. I'm spending time on hobbies rather than trying to check boxes off my "life to-do list."

Why? I'm happy right now. 

Personally, my biggest success in the last year has been reigning in my anxiety and finding courage to write openly like this again. Right now my happiness (and sense of relief) is good enough for me.

And sure, I may have a "dead end" job according to some, but that doesn't mean I can't work hard at that job in an effort to not only improve myself, but to prove those non-believers wrong. I believe you can find success at anything, as long as you truly dedicate yourself to it.

Yes, I still have occasional doubts about my life right now. I do sometimes wonder if there's something I could have done differently in the past to have a different outcome. I don't think that means I'm ungrateful about my life, but rather that I'm...human.

So although I could be having a good old "quarter-life crisis" next week, I think I'll take the high road instead. I'm going to enjoy what I've accomplished so far, as well as plan for what I want to take on next.

I realize that this life of mine may not go by "the book," but I'm really starting enjoy my own version.

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